when i sleep

I wish someone would take my hand when I fall asleep,

touch my face gently and play with my hair,

he would feel like hugging me when I move,

but scared that I wake up,

he would just stare at me, to make him sleep.

He would wake up before me, just to see me awake,

would touch my hand and stroke my cheek,

and just when I wake up, he let me go,

because he knew that I have a boyfriend.

alone

there were 5 in the bed and the little one said,
'roll over! roll over!'
so they all roll over and one fell out.
there were 4 in the bed........

and you get where this song is going.
ends up, everyone rolled over and fell out.

that was how i am when i'm inviting others out. going somewhere. just chilling out.
one after another said no. and i'm left alone.
its bad enough that he giving me silent treatment again. right after my birthday.

i'm lovin it. NOT.

dead dreams

at first he want it,

so he choose how its going to be,

its look,its texture,itscolour,

he change everything about it,

to make it more like him.

and then he stop,

he listen, he waited, he shuddered at the thought of it,

its price,its problems,its

the hassle of having it...

being pushed by others,

he felt angry, hurt, confused,

should he get it, or not?

with it, his life could be easy, but it can also be worse.

being pushed by others,

also makes him confident,relaxed, happy,

excited to get it,

and happy to see others happy.

he then give others hopes, dreams, happiness,

that it will come true,

their dream will come true.

but no,

when time comes,

he shook his head,

he scream and shout,

he ignore pleas,

and he wins.

because he love himself,

more then others...

he love his money,

he hurt peoples feelings,

he crushed their hopes and dreams.

and he wins.

so-called-squirrel

i saw a cute little squirrel today...

it jump around playfully....

it was right in front of my house...

jumping around with its friends...

sometimes it come close to me,

seems like calling me to join it,

looking at it, i feel happy,

i feel content,

i feel relaxed....

every evening i went out,

to the big drain in front of my house,

chasing the squirrel to their home.

with them, i always smile, always happy.

its like the squirrel are my friends,

my pet that cannot be captured,

but it is mine all the same,

and it look friendly and happy.

until one day,

looking at my aquarium one day,

there are two little squirrel swimming in it,

ine is dead, another barely breathing,

i was shocked, i was sad....

i helped it and put it out of its misery,

i cried just looking at it, i feel so guilty,

my squirrel dying...

i put it on the grass...

my first time looking at it,

as close as touching it,

just as i hold out my hand to touch it,

to show them love,

to tell it everything is going to be all right,

it stand up and show me its teeth!

its sharp as razor teeth,

long like needles,

it growl loudly,

warning me to stay away...

after all the things that i've done to save it,

after helping it to live,

it turns out not to be a squrrel at all.

its a vicious monster...

who eats small animals,

it may look like a squirrel, but it is not,

it never was and it never will.

my heart breaks,

my love is not what it seems,

it is not what i thought it would be,

my love and happiness was killed...

everytime i saw the so-called-squirrel by people who do not know the truth about it,

i feel angry,

i feel sad,

i never trust its playful sight again...

crushed

my heart crushed,

like the a-b-c in a bowl,

it melt and floating around,

dont know where to go or what to be.

my heart crushed,

and the blood runs free,

but my heart still aches,

i'm still here, where i dont want to be.

i saw a knife,

a bloody knife,

it cut me open, tearing me apart.

the pain is unbearable, and i'm dying.

why did he do this to me,

why did she do this to me?

tearing my inside hungrily,

and i am dying painfully.

they are smiling,

together they are winning,

thats what they want,

they want to see me dying.

dying of crushing dreams...

'thank you'

your help had help.dying is what you want,

death is what you will get.